A man died and went to heaven. As he stood 

in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, 

he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him.

He asked, "What are all those clocks?"

St. Peter answered, "Those are Lie-Clocks. 

Everyone on Earth has a Lie-Clock.

Every time you lie the hands on your clock 

will move."

"Oh," said the man, "whose clock is that?"

"That's Mother Teresa's. The hands have 

never moved, indicating that she never told a lie."

"Incredible," said the man. "And whose 

clock is that one?"

St Peter responded, "That's Abraham Lincoln's 

clock. The hands have moved twice, telling 

us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life."

"Where's President Obama's clock?" 

asked the man.

"Obama's clock is in Jesus' office. 
He's using it as a ceiling fan."