Thanks everyone.
Ted
And it came to pass, in the eighth year of the reign of the evil Bush the Younger (The Ignorant), when the whole land from the Arabian desert to the shores of the Great Lakes had been laid barren, that a Child appeared in the wilderness.
The Child was blessed in looks and intellect. Scion of a simple family, offspring of a miraculous union, grandson of a typical white person and an African peasant. And yea, as he grew, the Child walked in the path of righteousness, with only the occasional detour into the odd weed and a little blow.
When he was twelve years old, they found him in the temple in the City of Chicago, arguing the finer points of community organisation with the Prophet Jeremiah and the Elders. And the Elders were astonished at what they heard and said among themselves: “Verily, who is this Child that he opens our hearts and minds to the audacity of hope?”
In the great Battles of Caucus and Primary he smote the conniving Hillary, wife of the deposed King Bill the Priapic and their barbarian hordes of Working Class Whites.
And so it was, in the fullness of time, before the harvest month of the appointed year, the Child ventured forth - for the first time - to bring the light unto all the world.
He travelled fleet of foot and light of camel, with a small retinue that consisted only of his loyal disciples from the tribe of the Media. He ventured first to the land of the Hindu Kush, where the
Taleban had harboured the viper of al-Qaeda in their bosom, raining terror on all the world.
And the Child spake and the tribes of Nato immediately loosed the Caveats that had previously bound them. And in the great battle that ensued the forces of the light were triumphant. For as long as the
Child stood with his arms raised aloft, the enemy suffered great blows and the threat of terror was no more.
From there he went forth to Mesopotamia where he was received by the great ruler al-Maliki, and al-Maliki spake unto him and blessed his Sixteen Month Troop Withdrawal Plan even as the imperial warrior Petraeus tried to destroy it.
And lo, in Mesopotamia, a miracle occurred. Even though the Great Surge of Armour that the evil Bush had ordered had been a terrible mistake, a waste of vital military resources and doomed to end in disaster, the Child's very presence suddenly brought forth a great victory for the forces of the light.
And the Persians, who saw all this and were greatly fearful, longed to speak with the Child and saw that the Child was the bringer of peace. At the mention of his name they quickly laid aside their intrigues and beat their uranium swords into civil nuclear energy ploughshares.
From there the Child went up to the city of Jerusalem, and entered through the gate seated on an ass. The crowds of network anchors who had followed him from afar cheered “Hosanna” and waved great palm fronds and strewed them at his feet.
In Jerusalem and in surrounding Palestine, the Child spake to the Hebrews and the Arabs, as the Scripture had foretold. And in an instant, the lion lay down with the lamb, and the Israelites and Ishmaelites ended their long enmity and lived for ever after in peace.
As word spread throughout the land about the Child's wondrous works, peoples from all over flocked to hear him; Hittites and Abbasids; Obamacons and McCainiacs; Cameroonians and Blairites.
And they told of strange and wondrous things that greeted the news of the Child's journey. Around the world, global temperatures began to decline, and the ocean levels fell and the great warming was over.
The Great Prophet Algore of Nobel and Oscar, who many had believed was the anointed one, smiled and told his followers that the Child was the one generations had been waiting for.
And there were other wonderful signs. In the city of the Street at the Wall, spreads on interbank interest rates dropped like manna from Heaven and rates on credit default swaps fell to the ground as dead birds from the almond tree, and the people who had lived in foreclosure were able to borrow again.
Black gold gushed from the ground at prices well below $140 per barrel. In hospitals across the land the sick were cured even though they were uninsured. And all because the Child had pronounced it.
And this is the testimony of one who speaks the truth and bears witness to the truth so that you might believe. And he knows it is the truth for he saw it all on CNN and the BBC and in the pages of The New York Times.
Then the Child ventured forth from Israel and Palestine and stepped onto the shores of the Old Continent. In the land of Queen Angela of Merkel, vast multitudes gathered to hear his voice, and he preached to them at length.
But when he had finished speaking his disciples told him the crowd was hungry, for they had had nothing to eat all the hours they had waited for him.
And so the Child told his disciples to fetch some food but all they had was five loaves and a couple of frankfurters. So he took the bread and the frankfurters and blessed them and told his disciples to feed the multitudes. And when all had eaten their fill, the scraps filled twelve baskets.
Thence he travelled west to Mount Sarkozy. Even the beauteous Princess Carla of the tribe of the Bruni was struck by awe and she was great in love with the Child, but he was tempted not.
On the Seventh Day he walked across the Channel of the Angles to the ancient land of the hooligans. There he was welcomed with open arms by the once great prophet Blair and his successor, Gordon the Leper, and his successor, David the Golden One.
And suddenly, with the men appeared the archangel Gabriel and the whole host of the heavenly choir, ranks of cherubim and seraphim, all praising God and singing: “Yes, We Can.”
http://www.timesonl ine.co.uk/ tol/comment/ columnists/ gerard_baker/ article4392846. ece
Earn a Master of Arts Degree in Public Policy – Online from New England College
Dear Weston Wiggins,
The Online Master of Arts of Public Policy program, from New England College, will prepare you for future opportunities in government, non-profit organizations, or the political process itself. It is the same degree program offered to on-campus students and concentrates on the intersection between abstract policy and real world politics. You will gain an understanding of the intellectual foundations for key public policy discussions and how the outcomes affect change in the political process. You will also gain analytical and advocacy skills and will be prepared for advancing your career in the public, private, and non-profit sectors. For full program details, or a FREE program brochure, click here.
Practical teachings that you can use immediately in your current career
There are four core competencies that you, as a graduate of the New England College Master's of Public Policy program, will take away from the program:
• A clear understanding of the origins of American political institutions, as well as a foundation in ethics and leadership.Prepare for your future without sacrificing your current lifestyle
• A strong understanding of the key governmental institutions that formulate and implement public policy in our society, including Congress, the Judiciary, the Presidency and state and local governments.
• An in-depth grasp of the political process in America, including the mechanics of campaigns, elections, campaign finance and the media.
• An ability to effectively analyze public policy issues, including basic economic analysis, as well as the ability to present arguments persuasively and logically, and to communicate clearly, correctly and convincingly in writing and speech.
Weston Wiggins, you now have the opportunity to earn your master's degree, without placing your career on hold or relocating to attend university on campus. Studying online enables you to continue in your present career, while enhancing your performance as you learn. You will acquire problem-solving and critical thinking skills, and apply what you learn in class to every day challenges in your current career.
Take the next step into your future today
Accredited by the New England Association of Schools and Colleges, New England College emphasizes experiential learning as an essential component in the development of an enduring academic community. Building upon a strong liberal arts foundation, we challenge you to reach your full potential through informed discourse and the pursuit of academic excellence.
For full program details, or to obtain a FREE program brochure, click here now or call 1.866.817.2226 ext. 3334 to speak with an Admissions Advisor.
We look forward to welcoming you to New England College and the Master's of Public Policy program.
Sincerely,
Richard Keating
Dean, School of Graduate and Professional Studies
New England College
New England College • 24 Bridge Street • Henniker, NH • 03242
If you do not wish to receive information about this program, send an email to
remove@onlinenec.com with the word 'UNSUBSCRIBE' in the email subject line.
No comments:
Post a Comment